To start, we want to make sure that we're on the same page. Our goal for kids is to set them up for success. To us, that means
If they don't have fun, they are unlikely to get good. If they don't have fun, they are unlikely to have time and awareness to work on any of the other things on this list. Having fun comes first (excepting safety).
To that point, the most important thing that I can communicate to you is that grappling is just a game. This might sound a little trivial, but it will really guide everything else here. If you only get one thing from this, it should be to treat grappling like a game - because it is one.
I got asked a few months ago by a parent how to navigate his kid wanting to grapple at home with his friend. His question was “How do I make sure that it’s treated like a martial art and not just two kids play-wrestling in the backyard”.
I told him that he SHOULD treat it like two kids play-wrestling in the backyard!
If you want your kid to make grappling or any other sport a lifelong pursuit, treat it like a fun game
If you want your kid to get good at grappling, treat it like a fun game
Most importantly, If you want your kid to be happy, treat it like a fun game
You’ve probably heard the saying “For the love of the game”.
I love grappling. It’s nice to get submissions, but I don’t need to get submissions or even win positionally to love the game.
I love having silly goals when I’m playing like trying to trap peoples arms behind their back with my legs. I love exploring new positions that I’m bad at - currently, that’s upside down back control. I even love it when I lose to people that are a lot more talented than I am and trying to learn from it.
If you want your child to get good at grappling, they need to love the game too - whether they win or they lose.