First and foremost, please be a good training partner, be an ambassador for our sport, and be an ambassador for our gym.
Secondly, I’m going to quote Ryan Hall because he said it better than I can:
Each day we train, we hold our partners’ safety, even their life, in the palm of our hand. This is a sacred trust and it creates an implied contract that, though often unspoken, is the foundation of why martial arts is different than almost every other area of endeavor in which a civilian will ever participate. It bonds us together more tightly than those who have never trained can easily understand.
Most of the following items about our gym’s etiquette could really be summed up with one sentence: “Don’t break that trust”.
I often give beginners this analogy: Imagine that you’re at thanksgiving with your family and your 12 year old cousin is talking smack about how “jiu jitsu doesn’t work” and saying that you couldn’t take them down and tap them. You agree to play around in the backyard and show them that it does in fact work and they are wrong.
Do you A: Blast double into the ground as hard as possible, risking accidentally breaking their ribs before trying to break their arm with a quickly applied submission B: Be as gentle as possible, risking ‘losing’ the takedown because you’re prioritizing not hurting them over winning, and then trying to carefully and gently take their back and get a strangle
Everyone intuitively understands that someone who would choose option A is a psychotic asshole. If you do the same thing in the gym to a member, you’re being a psychotic asshole.
Training is called training for a reason. It is not competing. We are PLAYING a game - so work to be playful.
If someone is escalating in intensity and risking safety, use your words and ask them to slow down or go lighter. If they don’t, then stop sparring and please talk to a coach. Do not escalate back with them into a death match.
Don’t be a knuckledragger. Generally before around purple belt, people aren’t able to go at a high level of intensity (speed & strength) without having the awareness and reflexes to let go of their training partner in time before an injury could occur.
Sparring rounds in the gym are not competition rounds. If you want to compete, I’ll be your most vocal supporter, but the gym is not the place for it.
The gym is for skill development & play. At the end of the day, we grapple because it’s fun, it’s good exercise, and there’s community. When you’re training at the gym, your primary goals should be to have fun, build your mental map of grappling, and interact with the community.
Ego is a part of every sport, including grappling. However, your number one priority should not be to ‘win’ grappling exchanges. If your goal is to hold people down as long and as uncomfortably as possible, you’re being a jerk and you’re not going to learn very much.
Your goal should be to move efficiently, move playfully, transition often, and have fun. When you’re attacking submissions, your goal should be to get them while using a fraction of the strength you have.
In the gym you are investing in each others development and skill acquisition. Don’t hurt anyone (including yourself). If you don’t take this seriously, you will be banned.
We play a combat sport. It’s normal to get frustrated or upset over things and it happens to everyone.